Janna Banana
by Mr. Aanonymous
Summary: Life is pretty great. Everywhere else is anyway. Not so much here, boring o'l echo creek. Small town nowhere. Most fun I can have is vandalizing stuff and pick pocketing a few bucks. Maybe teasing the pants off a local cutie if i'm lucky. Can't wait for something to happen here. Nah, i'm done waiting. I'll make my own fun. Beta requested.
1. Mewberty

_"_In. Walks. The hero. The stars alignnnn!_"_

_Marco strutted into the room, decked out in a full party tuxedo, the music playing from the phone in his breast pocket. Making it to the folding chair, Marco stopped at the crate in front of it and spun in place, ending his little routine by plopping his butt in the chair and legs on top of the crate. Turning off the music with one hand as he took off his Oakley sunglasses with the other, Marco smiled at the camera in front of him._

_"Hey everybody, Marco Diaz is here." Marco waved, casually. "As you all probably know, Star vs the forces of evil is over. Its sad, sure. But it went out before it overstayed its welcome. Went on too long and putting everyone in a slump. That's how all great franchises to ou-_

_PHPHPHPHPH_

_Suddenly a loud farting sound erupted throughout the room, coming from door opposite Marco came in. Turning toward the exit, Marco saw none other than Janna Ordonia. She was wearing a giant orange wig that stuck out from the sides, her face painted stark white with a bright green smile running cheek to cheek, a tiny uncle Sam top hat on top of the bald spot, a blue polka dotted shirt, giant stretched out green pants held up by rainbow suspenders, and of course classic huge red rubber shoes. The girl herself had one hand spread out and covering her mouth, the other holding a plastic knife covered in fake blood._

_"Janna," Marco asked, coiling back in the chair. "what are you doing here... and why do you look like that?"_

_"Well, I'm not blabbering about my glory days." Janna joked, walking over to the crate and pulling out her own folding chair from under it._

_"Wh-what, I-I'm not doing that."_

_"PHPHPH." Janna let out another farting sound as she opened up the chair and sat in it. "Marco you loved the show more than anyone. Even if your name wasn't even in the title."_

_"We all had fun on the show." Marco defended, his face heating up._

_"Yeah, but you were the only one crying when the lights when out."_

_"You hit me in the face with pie tin full of shaving cream and onions." Marco crossed his arms. "Which really hurt, by the way. A lot."_

_"Yeeaahh... good times." Janna smiled, combined with the make up looked super creepy._

_"Ugh..." Marco shook his head. "Well I'm still in show biz. I've got an interview for a new role after this."_

_"As what!" Janna laughed, pointing to Marco's own outfit. "Knock off Douche James Bond?"_

_"What are you doing?" Marco frowned, gesturing to Janna's clown outfit. "Low budget joker movie?"_

_"Nope." Janna smiled, knowingly. "Still on the small screen, but I've hit the bit time. Ever heard of 'Mackie Hand Adventures?"_

_"Oh you have got to be kidding me." Marco groaned, slapping his own face. "You are not telling me you got a part on my favorite show."_

_"Yuuuup." Janna grinned smugly. "Can you say guest star stab-stab ridler clown?"_

_Marco stared blankly at the girl in the clown outfit as she stabbed the air with an insane smile on her face before turning back to the camera._

_"Star alumni. Video commentary. We're doing that." Marco announced, gesturing between himself and his nemesis, who waved back at the camera. "Happy to be back."_

_"And I'm happy to be Messing with Marco again." Janna winked at her favorite target. "I've missed it."_

_"I have not. Gaaahhhh..." Marco groaned, slumping back into his chair. There was a silent moment in the room before Marco peaked open his eyes back at Janna. "Didn't we already do all the commentary before show wrapped up. What's left, what are we commenting on?"_

_"I think its a making of." Janna shrugged. "Whatever it is I'm sure it'll be hilarious."_

Off Camera

Chapter 1- Mewberty._  
_

"Star, you can do this." Marco said into his phone, his tone patient and reassuring. "You've done it with me everyday since you got here. Get off the bus at the taco stand. Then turn the corner. After two houses you'll hit mine... its the one with the weird tower poking out of it."

Marco turned the corner past the field bleachers, the smoking purple flakes covering everything. The princess's earthly guide had to hop over the steaming piles to step on the clean pavement as he heard Star's distracted complaining.

"Because explosions, fire, shrieks of terrified townsfolk. Any of this ringing a bell?" Marco asked. "Okay, no bells but a corn husk ringer. That works. You mewni guys really like corn. Anyway, where do you think your parents will send you after earth?"

Star's immediate scream was so loud Marco had to pull his phone away from his ear wait until the magical princess stopped. A good twenty seconds.

"Ooookay, not gonna ask about that. Just gonna press on to finding the spell book." Marco nodded, bringing the phone back to his ear and hearing crunch laden mumbling and a few half spoken words. "Wow, how much sugar are you putting on that taco? N-never mind. You found the stand. That's good. You'll make it home. I believe in you. Bye."

Turning another corner from the field to the school courtyard, Marco had to dive fast behind a bush as he spotted Principle Skeeves strut out of the school. His kettle of a belly bobbing with every step. Peaking through the smoldering purple flakes, Marco could see Skeeves angrily talking on his phone.

"Yes officer, you should see this mayhem at my school." Principle Skeeves announced, gesturing throughout the courtyard. "H-huh, yeah everyone's fine but it'll cost a fortune just to clean the place up. I wanna press charges and i think i know exactly who's- huh, what? Accident. Insurance money? Uhhh, I'm sorry i can't seem to remember what i was saying before. Good luck on proving magic exists. See ya, suckah!"

Marco could have sworn he heard the principle whistling as he strutted off to the staff parking lot, the entrance that wasn't on fire anyway. Getting out from behind the bush, Marco sighed as he brushed off a few of the purple heart flakes off his red hoody.

"No cops, no one's hurt. Lucky. Now back to the book. Who would want a giant magi-Janna, its Janna. Why am i even trying? Come on man, this ain't Nancy Drew." Marco shook his head, kicking himself for letting his personal stuff spill over to something so important to Star. Even if they were his favorite mystery novel series."Real question is, where would Janna be with it... where girl's do secret stuff."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Janna?" Marco asked, knocking on the door of the field girls' bathroom. "Janna, are you in there."

"I'm a little busy Diaz." Janna announced, her voice a little muffled by the door. "What do you want?"

"Do you still have the spell book?" Marco asked, his cheeks heating up. It felt weird talking to a girl when she was in the bathroom. He'd only ever done that with his mom, and that was in the morning when she was brushing her teeth. It was kinda the opposite problem with Star, what with her demanding Marco sing to her through the door when he took a shower. Apparently Star liked the 'spicy tongue' he sang with. No idea why, it was just Spanish. Marco wishes his dad never taught him that habit. "After the craziness it disappeared, again. Did you steal it... again."

"Uhhh..." Marco heard some footsteps inside the room behind the door and a loud thud. "No idea what you're talking about."

"I'm coming in Janna." Opening the door, Marco did indeed find the butterfly spell book. It was sitting on the floor, open straight down the middle, with Janna herself down on her knees hunched over it and her back facing him. Marco also saw his stalker holding her pink smartphone over the book's open pages fallowed by a loud clicking sound before she turned the page.

"Took you long enough Diaz." Janna taunted, taking another picture with her phone before turning the page.

"Jan-" Marco was about to give his own witty reply when Janna hunched down a bit more, just enough to reveal the pink panties with white spots under her beige skirt. "ahhhh..."

"Something on your mind Marco?" Janna teased, fallowed by another click before turning the page again.

Marco opened his mouth to reply, a retort half ready when Janna gave a little wiggle. Shaking her behind at him, the pleats of her skirt flailing against her butt. Now Janna was never the prettiest girl, or the curviest, and far from the nicest, but she was still a girl. A pretty dang cute one at that and Marco couldn't help himself and looked closer. Discovering that it wasn't white polka dotes on the pink panties covering the slender curve of her behind, but white skulls. At that moment Marco wished he hadn't been wearing skinny jeans as he felt them getting tighter by the second around his crotch.

"I-I-Book." Marco stuttered, feeling his face heat up and knew he was blushing like a cherry. "I want the book back."

"I'm sure you would _want it_." This time Janna clenched her butt cheeks together a few times, the material of the panties pulling tight against her body, showing Marco everything. "The book, I mean."

"G-give me the book Janna." Marco stuttered again, the latter part of his demand was way higher pitched than he'd like.

"Why would I?" Janna asked, the teasing tone lost in her voice, fallowed by another clicking sound before turning the page as she wiggled her behind at him again. "This is way too fun."

"What do you want?" Marco asked, turning his gaze away from Janna's behind to the book, but he drifted back when she started wiggling again. Marco tried a few more times, it was no use. He always returned to her cutie patootie. Shaking his head, Marco tried one last time and turned toward the stalls. Resisting best he could, Focusing on the beige doors and doing his best to ignore the shaking below his gaze... and noticed the creaking of one of the stall doors and the skuff on the floor inside it that was the same color as Janna's boots. '_Daughter of a bastard, she planned this._'

"Hmmm." Janna hummed loudly, before suddenly the stalker stopped shaking her behind at her usual target. Marco could practically smell the evil smile on Janna's face... which was probably the nicest thing to smell in a bathroom. Girl or not. "T-take off your clothes."

"Wh-what?" Marco stuttered again, this time from sheer embarrassment, turning his gaze back as he did and instantly captivated by the skull dotted pink panties. Marco held in his breath as he felt his heart beating in his chest, the crotch of his skinny jeans were like a vice grip, and his head felt as red and hot as a coal in a lit grill. It was like a triple wammy of awkward puberty. Mewberty had nothing on this. Monster butterfly transformation or not. "C-come on. I-I just want the b-book."

"Its only fair." Janna teased, this time shaking her behind and clenching her butt cheeks.

"I-uh...Gahhh." Marco mumbled, his mouth no longer listening to his brain. Neither was his eyes as he tried to look away, but it was impossible. Especially when Janna switched from shaking left and right to up and down, the flaps of the skirt practically bouncing off her cute butt. Even Marco's brain wasn't listening to... something, brain. What was Marco thinking about? Ah, it was Janna's bouncing booty when she started doing a swirl motion. Marco's head and eyes moving along with her.

"Marco?" Janna asked, lowering her butt to the ground and sitting up. Her behind completely covered now, Marco looked up at Janna's smirking face. Her usual brown skin now pink. "You distracted by something?"

The earthly guide didn't even bother trying to talk back this time, only grabbing the zipper of this hoody and pulling it down as fast his he could, the sound of the pieces of metal coming undone rippling throughout the room. Just as Marco was about to yank his arms out, Janna jumped up to her feet, carrying the book close to her chest.

"N-no." Janna stuttered as she slipped over the polished tiled floor, catching herself on the large yard sized spell book and using it as a crutch to hold herself up. Janna stared blankly to the ground, her body still in place, before shifting her gaze up at Marco's own. Neither of them moved for what felt like an eternity for both. Eventually Janna straightened herself out, standing up stiff as a board with her arms wrapped tightly around the book against her chest. Embarrassed as he was, Marco could see Janna's face was almost as red as his own, her teasing smirk gone. "No. Not so fast Diaz. D-do it slowly."

"Seriously?" Marco asked, the sleeves of his hoody drooping off his hands. Janna said nothing, only holding the book higher, covering her mouth as she nodded. The magic loving stalker's eyes grazing down from Marco's own eyes to his undershirt. "I- feel like i should say some kinda cool one-liner right now, but... no. Nothing cool about this."

Janna slowly nodded at Marco's words, and he meant every bit of it. Nothing was cool about a cute girl tricking you into taking your clothes off piece by piece in front of her when the both of them are alone in a hidden part of the school. Especially when her eyes were glazed over and locked on his body nodding to everything Marco said. Marco had never felt more humiliated in all his life. The only good thing to come out of this was that he was so embarrassed he was baking and taking off his clothes allowed him to cool off.

Silver lining, Marco guessed.

Starting with his hoody, Marco zipped it all the way back up until it was almost choking him before dragging it back down to the bottom. Marco made sure stretch it out, both the moment and his hoody before finally making it to the end and when he did Marco pulled his hoody open like a bird spreading its wings. Marco had no idea why, but Janna hopped an inch back and let out a little squeak when he did that. Letting the loose red cotton of the hoody fall off his arms. It was a little abrupt but Janna didn't seem to mind. Though her eyes were wide open now.

Moving on from that, Marco squinted as he slided his arms down his shirt in an X shape before gripping the base. Just as slowly as he did with the hoody's zipper, Marco slided the grey undershirt against his stomach inch by inch but stopped when Janna took a step forward. Turning his gaze back to her, Marco saw that her eyes were glued to his gut. Marco was embarrassed by that, he was a little pudgy there and no matter how many sit ups or crunches or anything else at the Dojo, he couldn't get rid of that one squishy part at his center.

Ignoring that feeling best he could, Marco slided the undershirt past his chest and over his head in one swift motion like the hoody. Like before with the hoody Janna didn't seem to mind. She didn't say anything or step forward, though she did lean in toward him more. Janna's gaze wasn't welded to one spot like before, instead she was shifting all around his upper body. Up, down, side to side. This part Marco found himself okay with, ever since he was six, Marco spent what felt like endless hours at the strip mall Dojo practicing. No part of his body showed that off more than the muscles in his arms and chest.

For some reason Marco didn't understand, the look on Janna's face as she gripped the book even tighter against herself as looked over his upper body like a laser pointer shoved away the embarrassed feeling. Feeling his heart beating slow down, the boiling heat in his chest fade, Marco almost smiled as he kicked off his shoes. Janna didn't even seem to notice when Marco kicked one a little to hard and almost hit her as it flew off. Acting on that, Marco unbuttoned his belt before going to the pants button.

"Hey." Marco looked up and saw Janna, her eyes back to his own, a disgruntled look on the part of her face he could see. "S-slowly. Remember Diaz."

Marco knew it wasn't a question. Like before, the earthly guide put his belt and pant button back. After they were, Marco took a deep breath before unhooking his belt with just two fingers, grabbing the hook and front loop- slowly. Slowly pulling his black belt out as he extended his arm, dropping it in a loud ding. Marco shouldn't have even bothered with his pants before, as without his belt they didn't feel like staying on and slid to half way down his thighs. Which Marco expected would happen, and if you asked him before when this started it would've been the most embarrassing part, he'd agree you were right. But Marco forgot about the 'raging distraction' that Janna gave him. Which shot out like a 'bang' flag from a novelty gun when his pants slid down. Strangely enough, just like when he opened the hoody Janna let out a little squeak when that happened.

"W-well, th-that's all kinds of appropriate." Marco shook his head, he couldn't help it. It was all too much. Grabbing the helms of his skinny jeans, he stomped down on the bottom of his pant leg with his free foot and tried as fast as he could to get his pants off. It was too much and he tilted to the side. "G-going down."

And going down he went.

'_Wow, weird thought to have __half naked __in front of a girl._' Marco thought pulling the rest of his leg out and kicking his other one free. Looking back up, Marco saw Janna take a step back as he stood up. Not only that, but Janna's gaze shifted from his upper body to down below, only hovering over his tented gray boxer briefs before moving on further down.

If his arms and chest were the best his dojo offered, Marco's legs were the best his bike could hand out. Marco, the 14yr boy that he was, was far from a body builder. But he was even farther from the fat and skinny slobs he hung out with. It was also a point of pride with the young earthly guide showered twice a day, even before he met the explosion happy magical princess.

So there he was. Thee Marco Diaz, standing in the girls bathroom half naked. His budding muscles in his arms, chest, and legs along with his clean as a whistle brown skin on full display in front of his stalker. The cute if teasing Janna Ordania. Strangely enough she said nothing. She also did nothing. Her body was completely still, except her eyes. Which shifted everywhere. Marco didn't know what to be embarrassed about the most. The situation, every time her gaze shifted over his squishy gut, or his tented crotch. Marco felt his heart speed up again, hearing its beating grow louder and louder, his head growing hotter from the blush he new was creeping back. It was all too much, Marco couldn't take the silence and spoke.

"I-I'm keeping the b-boxers on." Marco stuttered again, his voice even higher than before. "N-nothing else is coming off."

"Ummmph-hhhhmm." Janna mumbled, nodding quickly. The stalker's eyes scanning him as her head bobbled up and down. "O-okay."

_'W-what, where's the sass? Where's the teasing?'_ Marco thought, kicking his crumpled up paints on top of his red hoody. "N-now the book. Give it."

"Hhhhmmmmph," Janna hummed, pulling back out her phone from jacket pocket. The pink rectangle almost slipping from her grip before positioning it in front of her and snapped a picture of Marco right there. A magical princess's earthly guide and red belt galore, standing in the girls bathroom in nothing but a pair of grew boxer briefs and matching ankle socks with his head as red as his hoody. "N-nope."

"O-oh, yo-ghmph. Come on!" Marco could feel his face becoming a darker red. "I'm two steps away from my birthday suit. What more do you want?"

"C-could..." Janna stuttered, her gaze shifted down to her phone's screen as her own blush deepened. "C-ould, you fl-lex for me?"

"J-Janna!" Once again Marco's threat was way higher than he wanted it to be.

"Answer's still no Diaz." Janna teased, lowering the book to reveal the smirk he knew and hated so much as she took another picture of him on his phone.

'_Yeah, that's going online._' Marco thought. "Why?"

"You've got no leverage. I've got no reason to." Janna answered, her gaze and the angle of her phone shifting down. That was it, Marco had enough and stepped toward her. Janna hopped back a step, her gaze shifted back to his but her phone stayed down. "O-okay. Okay. How about a new deal? You turn around and I'll slide over the book."

"No way that's it."

"And you flex your butt." Janna added, tilting over to her left on her toes, looking like she was eyeing his hip. "Only fair, remember?"

Amazingly, before either of them could say or do anything the book pried itself free from Janna's grasp and hovered on its side between them. The sound of strings and the smell of smoke filled the room as it opened, the pages shifting wild. Suddenly, a tiny man with blue skin in a yellow robe, a purple gem implanted in his forehead poofed out of the pages in a puff of grey smoke.

"Nope, now its just getting cruel." Glossaryck announced, pointing his finger at the confused Janna. "You'll be honoring your deal."

"Glossaryck, were you there the whole time?" Marco asked, staring at the tiny magical man... before remembering he was in only his boxers and grabbing his pants in a huff. "S-seriously?"

"Marco my boy," Glossaryck rolled his eyes at the guide. "do you _seriously_ want to stretch this moment out any longer?"

Instantly both young earthlings shouted their answers, Marco's face an angry frown mixed with embarrassment as he yanked his undershirt on backwards. Janna's face was something Marco hadn't seen on her before, or any girl really. Her face a deeper red than his own with a smile so eager it would give lottery winners pause, all the while her hat fell off in a near quiet thud. Marco turned away from the tiny floating man and glared at his stalker as he slipped on his pants. Janna herself bit her lip as her gaze shifted down from Marco's own to the bulge sticking out of his skinny jeans, even after he zipped it shut.

"Enough you two, you can hash it out later." Glossaryck sighed, the book closing by itself before floating out of the room. The tiny man himself sitting on it looking bored before snapping his fingers. Suddenly the shoe that almost hit Janna when Marco flicked it off made its way back to its owner as if it were alive. "Come my boy, its time to go."

Without a word, Marco slipped on the shoe along with its twin before hearing a clicking sound. Looking up, Marco saw Janna smiling down at her phone as she waved at him. Strangely enough, Marco noticed his stalker's knees shaking. Sighing himself Marco shook his head as he fallowed Glossaryck out the door.

"Worth it!"

After spotting the floating book, Marco dashed down the side walk, hoody in hand and after flipping over a pile of smoldering purple heart flakes landed right next to the tiny man sitting on it just as they made it to the staff parking lot.

"How could you let her do that?" Marco demanded, this time his voice just as low he wanted.

"Put a little base in there. i like it." The tiny blue man shrugged. "I was bored. I wanted to know how far the girl could push you. I honestly didn't think it would go like that. The girl really knows how to push your buttons."

"Bored?" Marco asked, enraged. "After everything that happened today, you were bored?"

"Ugh." Glossaryck rolled his eyes at the young earthly guide. "Kid, I've been at this game a 'while'. What happened today was nothing new for me."

"Well it was new for me." Marco rubbed his eye, sliding the hoody on. "Janna took pictures of the book's pages. I have no idea how I'm gonna get her to delete those."

"Ohhh, I wouldn't worry about it." Glossaryck smiled, eyeing back at the school before snapping his fingers. "Now what's this about a taco place? I wonder if they can make a pudding burrito."

Back at the girl's bathroom, the stall furthest from the door was locked shut was none other than Janna Ordonia. Her legs were spread open, one hand holding her phone up against the railing, the other was down her skirt and rubbing hard. The screen on the small rectangle was of none other than Marco Diaz, frame shifting from one after the other through out the ordeal she just put him through. From the hoody rip off, to the belt, to the surprise 'bang' thank you 'raging distraction', all the way to Marco on his knees as he slided out of his skinny jeans.

"S-so, so worth i-it." Janna gasped, felling herself getting closer and closer. But just before the end of her journey, the climax of the mountain she was climbing, the young girl heard a thunderous snap. The screen of her pink phone cracked like broken glass and its colorful frame turned a deep black.

"NOOOO!"

xxxxxxxxxx

_"W-well, well that was something..." Marco stammered, staring blankly at the screen as he shivered in his seat._

_"I-I have to be alone right now." Janna announced, hopping out of her chair and fast walked toward the exit door, her face flushed and her knees wabbly._

_"G-glad to be back on the show..." Marco gulped. "R-reliving all, all of these... memories." _


	2. The graveyard shift

_Beta requested. _

Janna Banana

Chapter 2- Graveyard shift

"No star, I'm not going to be part of your magic lesson with Gloss today." Marco had his phone right against his ear as he stepped off the bus and turned the corner. "Just a guess, but it could be because every time you come up with a new spell you test it on me. I end up playing the worst game of dodge the flaming ball of rainbows and putting out the glitter fires."

Marco tried not to roll his eyes as a certain magical princess listed off half hearted denials. As he crossed the street Marco wondered if star was just in denial or if she really was that oblivious. He wasn't sure.

"You're right Star, I'm sure the 'sparkle dance Diaz splatter bomb' was just a coincidence." Marco took out a quarter from his pocket and flipped it, letting it fall in his hand before slamming it down on his forearm. It was heads. "Ohhh, you were just trying to make Marco shaped holes in the wall and I just happened to be in the same spot you were blasting. Yup, that makes sense. I am flattered. Sorry I missed it... please don't burn down my house."

'Still can't tell.' Marco thought gulping while turning another corner, finding himself at the gates of the town cemetery. Going past the entrance and walking down some stairs Marco asked.

"Sooo, what's Gloss got you working on now?" Marco made it to the bottom of the stairs and walked around the statue of the city's founder. "A kernel in the pocket spell? Is that anything like an 'ace in the hole'... oh an ace is a card in a playing de-nevermind. Yeah, star. The earth term is silly."

'I really gotta introduce her to more earth stuff.' Marco thought before he heard some faint popping sounds in the distance fallowed by some angry squawking. Turning toward it, Marco jumped over some headstones and landed on a walkway. "If you're still figuring it out could you not go the usual warnicorn routine? Do something else to keep it interesting. Maybe something with bugs. Even add a hat."

Marco shrugged as he hopped over one last headstone.

"Oh me? I'm gonna try getting my missing stuff back." Marco said, giving his best cinematic glare to the person he came all the way out here to see. "...yeah, I'll be sure to tell Janna you said hi."

"Hey Diaz." Janna said, her tone flat and bored as she sat on the ground, leaning against a headstone while holding a paintball gun of all things. In front of her was, predictably, a pentagram drawn in black chalk in the grass. On all its points stood blown out black candles that matched the chalk. At the center of the circle was the framed black and white picture of a clown. Whistling to herself, Janna took a pot shot at a Squirrel not too far from Marco himself but missed by a mile. "Dang it. What do you want Marco?"

"Wallet, bus pass, house keys. List goes on." Marco counted with his fingers. "Want me to keep going?"

"Kinda." Janna smiled, pulling out Marco's blue SSN card from her pocket. He could tell it was his because it was bent in the specific way he bent all his cards. Top right back while bottom left in. "Isn't it kinda your fault? Having all this stuff in one spot. I'm a kleptomaniac Marco. Its like a pie on a window sill with a 'don't touch' sign over it. You just know I'm gonna."

"Pick pocketing or breaking and entering?" Marco asked, his tone flatter than paper.

"A gal's gotta have a hobby Diaz." Janna laughed. "A little mystery makes it more fun."

"Sooo, both. Bot it." Marco sighed. "You not telling me what you're taking my stuff for is part of it, right?"

"BINGO! Circle takes the square." Janna beamed at him.

"I need to get better locks." This time Marco did roll his eyes before gesturing to the stuff on the ground. "Whats all this?"

"Meh." Janna shrugged before taking another pot shot, a bird this time. She wasn't even close. "Clown seance."

"Kaaay..." Marco said, wondering how the magical princess from another dimension wasn't the weirdest person in his life. Sitting on a tombstone across from her Marco asked. "How's that going?"

Janna took a shot at a groundhog, no luck.

"Turns out the ritual has to be done on the day of his death for it to work." Janna frowned as she pulled out a large leather bound book from the gym bag next to her. "Really wish they put the warnings before the spells. Would've really saved me a lot of work. Coming out here. Setting all this up."

"And the paintball gun?" Marco asked, pointing to the chunk of cheap pink plastic in her hands. "Is that part of the old timey book of spooky stuff you probably got off lovecraft-wetdreams dot creepy."

"I dipped the paint balls in holy water." Janna tapped her nose. "I wanted to see if I could shoot a ghost."

"Well, no clown. But you are in a graveyard." Marco shrugged. "Any luck."

"Dead stuff, no. Live stuff," This time Janna pointed up and shot at a crow flying overhead. Marco couldn't see how close she was but the bird didn't seem to notice the shot. "Nerp. I probably should've done some practicing before I came out here. Really wish I thought this through."

"I don't know. You'd make a great storm trooper." Marco joked. Janna smiled at him before pointing the gun at the eartly guide and pulled the trigger, but instead of popping out a ball of paint there was only a clicking sound. Revealing the toy gun was out of ammo. Marco still flinched when he heard the click. Flustered but not wanting to show it, Marco asked. "A-aren't you worried about the trouble you'll get into for the mess?"

"Nope. Its all water colors." Jan said, pulling out a water bottle from the bag and splashing the nearest blotted tombstone. The paint washed away and left nothing behind. "Next rain and all this is gone."

Putting the water bottle away and reloading, Janna took another pot shot at a different squirrel and was even farther off than the first one.

"Oh come on!" Jan grumbled, tossing the paintball gun away and onto the circle, knocking over a few candles.

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Marco said, grabbing the paintball gun. "Maybe the squirrel is the hero of some epic forest opera and you're the arc villain. Blame the plot armor."

"I thought you were a karate nerd." Janna eyed him.

"You've seen the movies right?" Marco shrugged. "Tell me there's not karate in there."

"I'm more into the franchise that knows when to do a reboot instead of beating a dead horse over and over and calling it 'please buy the tickets, we're desperate' buzz word."

"Mean, but ahhh..." Marco tilted his head at her, admitting defeat. "The show's are pretty good."

"Diaz, I didn't come out here to talk about that." Janna picked up the old earth spell book. "Wrong genre."

"Well, you're obviously cool with genre mash ups." Marco said opening up the magazine and checking the ammo count. "You ever actually use this thing?"

"Not on stuff that moves." Janna admitted, giving Marco a look. "Hey, give it a try Diaz. I'd love to see how a karate nut shoots."

"Okay." Marco shrugged back, putting the magazine of paint balls into the plastic gun and readying the toy weapon. Marco took a number of shots at several of the animals Janna tried her luck on. While Marco never landed a hit, each of his attempts were much, much closer than hers ever was.

"Wow." Janna whistled. "No bullseyes but points for trying. They got a marksman class at the strip mall?"

"Nah, just summers of super soaker fights with family." Marco said, checking the ammo count again. "For the record, I wasn't trying to hit them. Unlike a certain serial killer in the making, I don't hurt small animals for fun."

"Flattery will get you everywhere Diaz." Janna laughed while pulling out a second paint ball gun from the bag as she stood up. "You up for a bet?"

"Depends," Marco eyed Janna, feeling his cheeks heat up. "Am I gonna walk out of here naked?"

"Wh-what?" Janna stuttered, her eyes blinking as her cheeks turned a bit pink. "N-not gonna let that go, are ya?"

"Nope." Marco shook his head.

"Wellll, would you be up for that or-"

"No." Marco said giving Janna the best dead serious look he could. Marco really hoped it worked because spent what felt like forever practicing it in front of a mirror. Though he never got a decent alone time to work on it since every time he tried Star would be making the silliest face she could right next to him.

"Fine." Janna spat, pouting. "Anyway, we have a paint ball dual, battle thing, whatever you call it. You win, you get your stuff back. I win, you clean all this up for me... and maybe something a lil extr-"

"Janna." Marco eyed her, Janna winked at him as her face reddened even more. "Is there a reason I don't just take my stuff back right here?"

"A few actually." Janna smirked. "For starters I don't keep all that on me at once."

"Fine." Marco sighed, defeated. "Whats the game?"

"First person shot loses. You ready Dia-" Janna challenged as she raised her paint ball gun only for Marco to beat her to it and blast her in the chest. Marco saw Janna pad where he hit her and looked surprised at the blotted pink paint on her hand before noticing Marco's own toy weapon pointed right at her. "Huh, the honor student plays dirty. Respect."

"Come on Janna." Marco shook his head, his toy weapon never wavering. "Who wouldn't see that coming?"

"No points for low hanging fruit, huh?" Janna asked, pulling at her shirt to look at the paint. "New game?"

There was a silent moment in the grave yard. Marco gave Janna a flat look as she beamed at him. Marco knew she was just waiting for him to say something to twist, turn, and troll the hell out of him with.

He shot her.

"_A__h!_ Marco Diaz." Janna giggled, using her free hand to block the paint balls as she shot back with the other.

And off they went. The two fired wildly at each other as they used headstones, statues, and trees as cover. While the earthly guide was faster and the better shot, the occult enthusiast knew the graveyard better and more importantly, sneakier. As Marco was about to learn.

Chasing Janna down a sidewalk, Marco was hot on her trail and closing in. Since most of his ammo was gone he wasn't shooting at her as Marco wanted to save the last of it for when he had her pinned down and cornered. But before he could Janna tripped and fell face first into the grass.

"Whaoh, that's almost convincing." Marco said catching up to famous trickster with his plastic gun still pointed at her. "Nah-ah Janna, not gonna fall fo-"

Suddenly without warning Janna stuck her butt in the air and before Marco could help himself he turned away. By the time he caught himself it was already too late. Janna cheered as the barrel of her paint ball gun sneaked out from under her skirt and between her legs, shooting Marco in the chest. Marco grumbled as he looked at the fresh blue blotch on his red hoody and before he knew it he was pelted with what was probably the last of her ammo.

"What was that about low hanging fruit?" Janna smiled as she stood up.

"Janna, come on. That's cheating." Marco glared, his voice way higher pitched than he'd like.

"Yeah, that's why I did it." Janna smirked. "Come on Mr. goody two shoes, you really should've seen it coming."

"Low blow." Marco could feel himself blushing.

"Marco, half of what I do is to see that look on your face you're making right now." Janna pointed at him. "Its like a pissed off puppy. So cute."

"I-what?" Marco's head felt like it was on fire. "Y-you're not gonna ask me to put on a puppy costume and do furry stuff are you?"

"Oh my god! C-could you actually do that?" Janna stuttered, bouncing on the balls of her feet, her eyes as big as dinner plates. For a second she reminded Marco of Star. Marco must've made that face she liked because Janna just started laughing and laughing until she needed to hold onto a nearby tombstone to keep herself up. "A-and hey, I-I learned you really are an ass man."

"I-I looked away." Marco stuttered.

"Why? Apparently-" Janna pointed at Marco again. "I've got a nice caboose. You wanna look, all you gotta do is ask."

"R-really?" Marco asked. He didn't know how to take that. Was she serious? Was this a trick? Could Marco take that chance? His brain was telling him he shouldn't... but Janna wasn't lying about her cute behind. Marco couldn't deny that.

"Of course, I gotta see yours first."

"There it is." Marco nodded, his voice flat.

"Sooo, is Janna Banana gonna get a peek under the hood orrr..."

"My stuff Janna." Marco pointed back. "I want my stuff back."

"Get'n paid up front." Janna laughed. "Diaz is finally learning."

"No." Marco shook his head. "I won the bet. You can't move the goal post anymore."

"Kinda can." Janna grinned. "Exhibit A, you never actually agreed to it. B, false start. C, just because. D, all the above."

"Fine. One more game, but on my terms." Marco said holding up a finger. "We do the cowboy thing. Only one round in each gun. I do the count."

"Where has this Marco been?" Janna asked excitedly. "Me likey."

"Janna."

"Okay Marco, jeeze. I'm into it." Jan answered checking her ammo count. "But ah, empty over here and these two packs are all I brought."

"Here." Marco said pulling out two paint balls from his magazine, giving Janna one and keeping the other before dumping the rest. "Alright, you load it when I say-"

"Nope." Janna chuckled, instantly putting the paint ball into the toy gun and blasting Marco in the chest.

"Payback?" Marco sighed.

"Payback." Janna nodded.

"I only have one more." Marco said picking up the ball off the ground. "We doing this or am I wasting my time here?"

"Well," Janna shrugged, looking away. "We could pick this up again later. Maybe at my pla-"

"And I'm out." Marco turned around.

"Whoah, whoah. Just kidding Marco." Janna said, grabbing his hand and pulling him back.

"I want my stuff back Janna." Marco pulled his hand free and folded his arms. "Quit yanking me around."

"Well I could try yank- Wow, its hard not to make a joke with that." Janna said, stopping herself just in time as she pulled out a blue card from her pocket. "Look, to prove I'm serious I'll even give you this back."

"Okay." Marco said cautiously, slowly reaching out to take back his card. After putting it in his pocket he tossed Janna the last paintball. "We're doing this. Back to back."

"This seems more like Hamilton than a fist full of dollars." Janna shrugged as she got behind Marco. "You wanna drop the lyrics or should I?"

"Have you actually seen it?"

"Ah... What's next Diaz?"

"Load the ball, now. We each take one step with each number. Turn and shoot at th-" Marco explained as he put the paintball in but then he felt something rub up against his backside. Looking behind him Marco saw Janna grinding her butt against his, the pleats of her skirt rubbing against his skinny jeans. Marco felt himself blushing again. "Y-you are not gonna mess with my head Janna."

"Surrre I won't." Janna winked at him. "Come on Diaz, tell me you don't love it."

"Yeah I do, but I still-" Marco realized what he just said and sighed. "Ah dang."

"Oh-hoh, Marco!" Janna laughed, playfully jabbing him in the side. "Taking steps in the right direction."

"Starting Hamilton thing. One, Two, th-" Marco announced, taking a step with each number but when he turned around he saw Janna exactly where they started and facing him... holding her skirt up. Of course, predictably, Marco couldn't help but look. They were white this time and covered in blue hearts with a lighting bolt like line running through them. "Ree."

Janna shot him.

"Sooo," Marco sighed as he wiped off some of the paint from his hoody, his eyes still glued to her. "Broken hearts today?"

"Broken hearts?" Janna gave a cracked giggle as she let go of her skirt. "You just can't write this stuff."

"Who would believe it? I barely do." Marco shrugged, walking past Janna toward the pentagon he found her at. "Try not to rub it in too much."

"Can't, too fun. For starters, I know now you're not just into-" Janna said rushing up to Marco and slapping his bottom. "butt stuff."

Marco couldn't help but crack a smile at this, he saw it coming and liked it. He couldn't deny it. It was quiet between the two as they made their way back to Janna's little campsite. Like Marco promised he would, he cleaned up all of Janna's stuff and even carried the bag for her as they walked out of the graveyard.

"Sooo, how am I getting my stuff back?" Marco asked.

"Gonna have to earn it Diaz." Janna smiled at him, her cheeks turning pink. "Take a wild guess."

"You want me to give you my unwashed undies?" Marco asked, his voice flat and his face blank.

"W-wow. You went super wild, found a line I didn't even know I had, and you turned an anime cliche on its head." Janna nodded at him. "Triple whammy. Respect."

"Yeah, I thought it was called for." Marco nodded back as they reached gates to the town cemetery before remembering something and padded the back of his jeans and felt something wet. "Did you leave a hand print on my ass?"

"You know I did!"


End file.
